writings
Appeasing as a trauma response and how to break the spell
Newly single, a growing desire to express and embody my sexuality, and the need to experience emotional and physical intimacy; I’ve recently started dating after 6 years of heteronormative monogamy in my marriage. It’s been interesting to notice a common thread...
Unraveling the double bind of sexual shame
This past weekend, someone I likely knew closely in the past attempted to anonymously shame my sexuality. As soon as I read the comment, a stinging heat took over my inner experience. My heart squeezed, and my breath shortened. It was the beginning of a shame spiral...
Our capacity to belong
One of the ways consensual culture is growing within me is our essential design of feeling belonging to ourselves and each other- a central thesis to this body of work. As I deepen my relationship to my needs and limits; a muscle that eluded me for most of my...
Abolishing capitalism within us
As the sky looms cloudy and grey in San Diego, I’m relating to a false sense of urgency within me that I’ve come to know intimately over the last few years in my embodiment journey. This felt-sense of speed and scarcity is a product of being socialized within...
How we heal in relationships
In the following week after we launched the consensual culture fundraiser last Monday, I froze. I froze because asking for $25,000 is not just about making sure our team and business are well resourced, nor just about creating scholarships for queer, trans...
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